Funeral attire in New Zealand: what to wear
We found no New Zealand law, agency or industry rule that sets a dress code for funerals. What the family asks for comes first. If they have said nothing, tidy, modest clothing in darker or muted tones is the safe choice, and at a marae, church or another community's service the host's customs apply. If you are unsure, ask the family, the celebrant or the funeral director.
Funeral attire is simply the clothing people choose to wear to a funeral or memorial service. In New Zealand it varies with the family, the religion or culture involved, the place and the weather, and with whether the service is a traditional one or a celebration of life. We searched the Funeral Directors Association's (FDANZ) guidance for families, government pages and Te Ara for a published rule and found none, so this page does not pretend there is one. What we can source is who knows the family's wishes, what the sources say about specific settings such as a tangihanga, and what to do when you cannot tell. Where we offer a suggestion that is ours rather than a sourced fact, we say so.
The family's wishes come first
The people who know what the family wants are the family, the celebrant and the funeral director. FDANZ says celebrants spend time with the family in the days leading up to the funeral and get to know their wishes for the service, and tells families not to be afraid to talk to their funeral director about any aspect of the service (FDANZ: Funeral and farewell choices). Celebrants were used at 76% of funerals in FDANZ's 2025 survey (FDANZ 2026 Industry Trends Report). So a request about dress, if there is one, will often be passed on through them.
How to find out:
- Read the notice or message you were sent. If it asks for a colour, a team jersey, casual clothes or "no black", follow it. If it says the funeral is private, you are not expected to attend.
- Ask a family member or close friend of the person who died.
- Ask the funeral director if the notice names one. They will not mind the question.
If the family wants something different from anything in this guide, their request is the rule for that funeral.
A sensible default
If no one has said anything, we suggest tidy, modest clothing in darker or muted colours such as black, navy, charcoal or grey, with covered shoulders and knees, and clothes you can sit and stand in comfortably. That is our editorial suggestion, not a sourced custom. It is a way to avoid standing out, and it works for most services held in a chapel, church or funeral home. Gender makes no difference to the advice, whether you are choosing a dress, a skirt, trousers or a suit. Wearing black is not required anywhere we could find, and bright or patterned clothing is only a problem if the family has asked for the opposite.
Different settings
| Setting | What the sources say | What we suggest |
|---|---|---|
| Chapel or funeral home service | Nothing published on dress | The default above |
| Church service | Nothing published; each denomination and congregation differs | The default above; ask if the service is for a community you do not know |
| Marae or tangihanga | Te Ara describes the pare kawakawa, a wreath worn around the head, as a symbol of the tangi; each marae follows its own kawa (protocol) | Ask a member of the whānau or a kaumātua; see below |
| Pacific community service | Sources do not describe dress | Ask someone from the family; see below |
| Graveside, urupā or outdoor service | Nothing published on dress | Allow for weather and uneven ground |
| Celebration of life | Nothing published on dress | Follow what the family asks; they often say |
Marae and tangihanga
A tangihanga, the Māori ceremony of mourning, usually involves going on to a marae, and Te Ara describes the customs of welcome and speeches. It describes the pare kawakawa, a wreath of kawakawa worn around the head, as a symbol of the tangi. We found no source that sets out what visitors should wear, so we do not make one up. Customs vary by iwi and hapū, and each marae follows its own kawa. The sensible step is to ask a member of the whānau or a kaumātua, or a friend who has been to that marae. Our tangihanga guide covers the process, and the koha guide covers the gift visitors usually bring. Some guides online mention head coverings or specific modesty rules; we could not source them to a New Zealand authority, so we leave them out rather than guess.
Pacific and other community services
FDANZ says a more traditional funeral remains the norm for Māori, Pacific peoples and the growing number of Asian New Zealanders, and that Pacific peoples had the highest burial rate in 2025 (FDANZ 2026 Industry Trends Report). That tells us the services are often large, community occasions, but not what people wear. Sources for Samoan, Tongan, Cook Islands, Niuean, Fijian, Chinese, Indian and other communities' dress customs are thin or behind bot walls, and we have not published anything we cannot name a source for. Our guides on Pasifika funerals and cultural funeral customs give the sourced detail we have. Otherwise, ask a family member or someone from the community; asking is better than guessing.
Natural burials, outdoor services and the weather
If the burial or service is outdoors, think about the ground and the weather. New Zealand weather changes quickly and cemeteries are often exposed, so a coat or layer and shoes that will cope with grass are our practical suggestions. Natural burial grounds have their own rules about the casket and the grave, for example no embalming and biodegradable caskets at Wellington's Mākara (Wellington City Council: Burials), but the council pages do not mention guests' clothing. See natural burial.
Children and teenagers
We found no New Zealand source on what children should wear. Our suggestion is to choose something tidy and comfortable they can sit in, let teenagers have a say, and tell them in advance what will happen. FDANZ notes that younger children are usually accepting and curious about a person who has died, and that children often like to draw a picture or write a letter or poem to put into the casket (FDANZ: Spending time with someone who has died). If the child is bereaved, a small familiar item to hold can matter more than the outfit.
Clothing for the person who has died
Many people looking for funeral clothes are really asking what the person themselves should wear. FDANZ says many families provide clothes that belonged to the person for them to be dressed in, and that you can dress them yourself or leave it to the funeral director (FDANZ: Spending time with someone who has died). It also lists gathering clothes as one of the first practical tasks before meeting the funeral director (FDANZ: What to do when someone dies). For a cremation, Auckland Council says everything in the casket must be combustible and lists batteries, pacemakers, glass and PVC as prohibited (Auckland Council: How cremation works), so ask the crematorium about shoes, jewellery and keepsakes. Our guide to caskets covers the rest.
If you cannot afford new clothes, or cannot get time off
You do not need to buy a new outfit; clean, tidy clothes you already own are enough in our view. If you need time off work, the Holidays Act 2003 gives eligible employees 3 days' bereavement leave for the death of a spouse or partner, parent, child, sibling, grandparent, grandchild or a spouse's or partner's parent, and 1 day for others if the employer accepts a bereavement (Holidays Act 2003, ss69 to 70). See bereavement leave for who qualifies.
If you are arranging the funeral
If it falls to you to arrange the funeral, you can let guests know what you would like, in the notice or by message, which saves them guessing. The executor or the closest relative usually decides the funeral, taking into account whānau views and cultural and religious practices (Community Law: Funerals and tangihanga); see the executor's role. Our funeral timeline and flowers etiquette guides cover other details guests ask about. The costs of a funeral are on the funeral costs hub.
Planning ahead
This page is about the day itself, so cost is a side issue here. If a funeral has made you think about your own arrangements, Momentum Life's Funeral Insurance, issued by Momentum Life Limited, is one option: New Zealanders aged 40 to 75 can take out a fixed benefit of $3,000 to $30,000 towards costs. Cover for the first 24 months is limited to accidental death within 90 days of the accident, with premiums refunded for any other death in that window. Total premiums can end up larger than the benefit, and the benefit may not cover the whole funeral. Momentum is rated B (Fair) by A.M. Best (financial strength page). Other providers are compared on the funeral insurance hub, and the buttons on this page lead to Momentum's own quote.
Adviser's view
Follow the family's request first, then local custom at the place you are going, then a sensible default of tidy, modest clothing in darker or muted tones. That default is our suggestion, not a rule: we found no New Zealand law or industry standard that sets one. If you are going to a marae or an unfamiliar community's service, ask someone from the family.
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Cite this page QuoteHub NZ (2026). What to Wear to a Funeral NZ: Etiquette Guide. www.quotehub.co.nz/guides/when-someone-dies/what-to-wear-to-a-funeral-nz. Updated 2026-10-20.
References
- FDANZ: Funeral and farewell choices
- FDANZ: Spending time with someone who has died
- FDANZ: What to do when someone dies
- FDANZ: 2026 Industry Trends Report (PDF)
- Te Ara: Tangihanga, death customs
- Te Ara: Tangihanga, death customs, The tangihanga process (pare kawakawa)
- Community Law: Funerals and tangihanga
- Auckland Council: How cremation works
- Wellington City Council: Burials
- Holidays Act 2003
- Momentum Life: Financial strength
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