How to plan a memorial service or celebration of life

Written by Henry Smith · Reviewed by Smiths Insurance & KiwiSaver, licensed Financial Advice Provider (FSP712931) · Updated 2026-10-20 · Reviewed quarterly, when the underlying data is restated.

Financial advice is provided by Craig Smith Business Services Limited, trading as Smiths Insurance & KiwiSaver, a licensed Financial Advice Provider (FSP712931). QuoteHub is a trading name.

A memorial service is a gathering to remember someone, held separately from the burial or cremation. Because the two are apart, you choose the date, the place and the format, and in New Zealand that can be a home, a hall, a park or a funeral home chapel. The cremation or burial is arranged first with a funeral director.

A memorial service is a gathering held after, or apart from, the disposal of the body, whether by cremation or burial. A common pattern in New Zealand is a direct cremation, where the funeral director collects the person, completes the paperwork and arranges the cremation with no service, followed by a memorial a few weeks later when family can travel and nobody is rushed. FDANZ's 2026 report found about 40% of 2025 funerals were a private family goodbye or an unattended cremation, and 60% were a full funeral with a casket or urn present (FDANZ, 2026 Industry Trends Report). Neither choice is better than the other. They suit different families.

Funeral or memorial service: what is the difference?

A funeral is the service where the body, in a casket, or the ashes in an urn are present, and it usually leads straight to the burial or cremation. A memorial service has no fixed link to the disposal, so it can be held days, weeks or months later. A celebration of life is a memorial with a lighter tone, with stories, music and food rather than a formal order of service. Some families have both: a small private farewell, then a larger gathering later.

Some traditions do not separate the two. A tangihanga keeps the body with the whānau, often on a marae, for a period before burial, and customs vary by iwi and hapū (Te Ara: Tangihanga). A memorial would not replace that. If you are unsure what your family's tikanga or religion expects, ask the elders or your minister before you book anything.

Who decides, and when to hold it

The executor decides the funeral arrangements, or, with no executor, the closest relative, and they are expected to take account of whānau views and cultural, religious and spiritual practices (Community Law: Funerals and tangihanga). A memorial is a family matter on top of that, so agree the plan with the people closest to the person who died.

We found no deadline in the sources we read for holding a memorial. The deadline that does exist is for registering the death: no later than 3 working days after the body is disposed of, and a funeral director normally does that for you (govt.nz: Registering a death). Pick a date when the people who matter can come. For many families that is after the first weeks, when practical admin is done.

Step by step: planning a memorial at home or in a venue

Settle the cremation or burial first. Ask the funeral director what is included, when the ashes will be ready and who collects them. Ask for an itemised quote.
Agree who is organising. One person holds the list and the budget. Others take jobs.
Choose the date and a rough guest list. Numbers decide the venue.
Choose the place. At home you control the cost and the mood, but check seating, parking, toilets, neighbours and weather. A hall, club or park needs a booking and may have hire fees and rules on food, alcohol and noise. A funeral home chapel costs more, with the staff to run it; FDANZ lists chapel hire at $200 to $500 (FDANZ: Financial matters).
Choose who leads. A family member can host. A celebrant or clergy member costs $300 to $900 on FDANZ's indicative list and was used at 76% of 2025 funerals.
Plan the running order (a sample is below).
Plan food and drink. FDANZ puts catering at $15 to $25 a head. Asking guests to bring a plate is another option. See our guide to venue and catering costs.
Plan the pictures and music. A slideshow is $300 to $500 if bought in, though a family member can often make one. Check our funeral songs and hymns list.
Let people know. Phone, email or a social post for those close by, and a notice if you want a wider audience; FDANZ lists newspaper notices from $150 to $500 or more.
Offer a livestream if distant family cannot travel. Funeral homes charge $200 to $500; a phone on a stand may be enough at home. See funeral livestreaming in NZ.

A sample running order for a one-hour memorial

This is an example, not a rule. Shorten or lengthen it to suit the group.

Time	Item	Notes
0:00	Welcome and a short introduction	The host or celebrant; say where the toilets are and what happens next
0:05	Karakia, prayer or a moment of silence	If it fits the family
0:10	Life story or eulogy	Five to eight minutes; see how to write a eulogy
0:20	Music or a slideshow	One or two songs
0:30	Open sharing	Invite two or three people in advance, then open the floor
0:50	Closing words and an invitation to eat	Say how the ashes will be cared for, if known
1:00	Food and conversation	Often the longest part

What does a memorial cost compared with a funeral?

These are the sourced figures, all GST inclusive, from FDANZ's 2026 report and the providers named. A memorial is rarely a single product, so the comparison is built from parts.

Item	Figure	Source and basis
Full funeral with cremation (50 guests at a funeral home, catering, celebrant, slideshow, mid-price casket)	Average $11,700; range $10,000 to $13,900	FDANZ 2026 report, 2025 member survey
Same, with burial	Average $14,300; range $12,800 to $17,000	FDANZ 2026 report
Unattended cremation (no service)	Average $4,700	FDANZ 2026 report
Dils (North Shore) professional fee, direct cremation	$3,030	Dils price list, May 2026; the crematorium fee, casket and documentation are extra
Dils professional fee, memorial service	$3,470	Same list; chapel, hearse and extras separate
Simplicity Funerals Christchurch, "Dignified" direct cremation	From $4,215	Includes cremation fee, casket and death certificate; undated page

The Dils and Simplicity figures are not like for like, because Simplicity's price includes the cremation fee and Dils's does not. Use them as examples of how providers present prices, and ask for a total.

A worked example (our arithmetic on the figures above). A direct cremation at the FDANZ average of $4,700, plus catering for 50 guests at $15 to $25 a head ($750 to $1,250), a celebrant at $300 to $900 and 50 service sheets at $2 to $3 ($100 to $150) comes to about $5,850 to $7,000. That is before venue hire, flowers, a livestream or what you do with the ashes. Set against the $11,700 FDANZ average for a full funeral, the difference is roughly $4,700 to $5,850. Your quotes will differ, and the saving shrinks if you add a venue, a casket or a viewing. The result also depends on doing a lot of the organising yourselves.

Ashes can be kept, buried or scattered. Council ash plots add cost: FDANZ puts an ash plot and interment at about $1,300 on top of a cremation, Christchurch City Council lists an ash plot at $598 and ash interment at $277 for 2026/27, and Auckland Council lists ash burial at $390 with ash plots from $1,650 (Christchurch City Council; Auckland Council). Auckland Council prohibits scattering in waterways and the ocean on its land and says it is culturally inappropriate for Māori (Auckland Council: Scattering of ashes). Check who owns the land before you scatter. Our guide to scattering ashes has more.

When a memorial may not be the right choice

The family wants a viewing or the body present. FDANZ found 64% of families chose a viewing in 2025.
Tikanga or faith requires a funeral or burial within a set time. Ask the community before choosing a direct cremation.
There is conflict in the family. Splitting the farewell in two can help, or it can add friction.
The family cannot organise a gathering. A funeral home can run a memorial for a fee; that is the Dils memorial service line above.

Help with the cost

Work and Income's Funeral Grant is up to $2,697.43, and its list of reasonable expenses includes venue, food, a celebrant and a slideshow, but the grant is tested and prepaid funeral cover can affect it (Work and Income: Funeral Grant). ACC pays up to $8,236.40 for funeral or memorial costs where the death is from an injury ACC covers (ACC). See our funeral grant guide and, to compare a direct cremation with other options, direct cremation costs and the funeral costs hub. If you are planning your own farewell, organising your own funeral covers the paperwork and funding.

The buttons below this guide open Momentum Life's online applications, for people thinking ahead about paying for a funeral. Funeral Insurance accepts New Zealanders aged 40 to 75 for $3,000 to $30,000. For the first 24 months it pays only for accidental death within 90 days of the accident, and other deaths in that window return the premiums. Over a long life the total premiums could exceed the benefit, and the benefit may not cover a whole funeral. Momentum Life's A.M. Best rating is B (Fair), which sits in A.M. Best's "Vulnerable" range (Momentum Life: financial strength). Saving the money yourself is the other way to prepare.

If you are planning ahead for your own funeral costs

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Adviser's view

A memorial service held after a direct cremation can cost thousands less than a full funeral, but only if you do much of the organising yourself, and it is not the right choice for every family. Some families need the body present, a viewing or a tangihanga. Decide the cremation or burial arrangements first, then plan the gathering around what your family needs.

Henry Smith, Financial Adviser (FSP1010699). General information, not personalised financial advice.

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Cite this page QuoteHub NZ (2026). Planning a Memorial Service NZ: Home and Venue Guide. www.quotehub.co.nz/guides/when-someone-dies/memorial-service-guide-nz. Updated 2026-10-20.